I am not a nutritionist (yet). So I'm not going to go into the details of trans fats, simple carbs, and calories. The fact is, I've always known that fast food is unhealthy but it did nothing to stop me. I've probably watched ten documentaries on Netflix that made me blubber with guilt over what I had done to my body, and then lasted all of two days before I was back in the drive-thru. The real turning point came for me when I realized that my affinity for fast food was more of problem with flawed thinking than it was a physical addiction. It was a series of lies I told myself for years that kept me trapped.
Lie #1: Fast Food is Fast
Fast food may be the biggest misnomer in the history of mankind. I have to giggle at the thousands of times the hubs and I made a declaration at 6pm that we just didn't have the time to gather ingredients to cook and then proceeded to argue for 45 minutes about which fast food joint we were the least tired of. My 'no, we've been to Burrito Hell twice this week' would be quickly rebuffed with 'well I'm sick of Crappy Burger.' When the decision was reached, we'd hit the drive-thru expecting a nice, hot meal. But nine times out of ten, we sat in a ridiculous line of cars, were asked to pull around to the front to wait ten minutes, or had to run inside for an item that was forgotten. That is, if we were lucky enough to catch the forgotten item at the restaurant and not the moment we were ready to eat at home. Sometimes we were lucky enough to experience all of the above in just one visit. Onset of hunger: 6 pm. Actual meal time: 7:30 pm. Sounds pretty fast, eh?
Lie #2: Fast Food is Yummy
Is it, Fat Jesse? Because I can pretty much guarantee that I had an inner complaint about how my food was made every single time I ordered some.The food that you see Maxim models wolfing down on Carl's Jr. commercials is not as appetizing in person. Just Google real pictures of fast food and do some soul-searching on what your eyes have been programmed to tell your stomach is "yummy" for so many years. I think these disgusting piles of beige food have gotten past me for so long, because of how I ate them. Most fast food is conveniently packaged to be eaten right in your own lap, in front of the TV or in the car. I would never sit at the table with a plate. If I had, that would involve actually paying attention to how disgusting the food looked. If I went to a nice restaurant and they brought me food like that, I would probably send it back. Because I paid good money for it. Which brings me to my next point.
Lie #3: Fast Food is Cheap
This one is so bewitching that the entire country has bought into it. Experts blather on about how low income families don't get proper nutrition because they have no choice but to buy cheaper junk food. Well, those experts have never seen the checking account of a fast food-aholic. Say you stick to the dollar menu, buying two meals per day for two people. Let's give each person three items at each meal from that dollar menu, and the inevitable 'ooh, get me a dessert' impulse add-on at the end of the order. That's $8 before tax. Times two. Times thirty. I'll give you a minute. This, of course, is just a baseline. Sometimes more per month, sometimes less. But it also forgets to factor in milkshakes masquerading as coffee and those special nights when the dollar menu just isn't enough to say I hate myself. No, on those nights, it was Chinese food or our adopted child...pizza. Seriously, when tax time came this year and the form asked if we provided more than half support to any other dependents, I was tempted to write down CiCi. Here's the kicker, F.J. We practically never gave fast food to our daughter. So, add to the monthly food bill: healthy groceries for the kiddo. Enter Lie #4.
Lie #4: Fast Food is Not Okay for My Kids, but It's Fine for Me
I committed to authenticity when I started writing these letters to you, Fat Jesse, and I am going to see it through. It is embarrassing to admit an inconsistency so harsh as this one, but I have to expose it so that it stays away for the rest of my life. I kid you not, after arriving home from the drive-thru, I would prepare a healthy meal for my toddler. I vowed to show her how to eat healthy and expose her to veggies and fruit and shield her from fast food, because I wanted better for her. But there is so much wrong with that. For starters, how long would it have taken for her to say I want what Mommy's having? But the less obvious problem this presented to me was the fact that I was telling myself that she was worth it, and for some reason...I wasn't. When I tapped into this mistreatment of myself, I was able to change. Now, F.J., if someone other than my mom stumbles across this blog, they may think I am judging any parent who takes their kid for a meal and some time in the playhouse at a fast food restaurant. Absolutely not. There is a reason I write to you, Fat Jesse, and that is so the world can know that, at all times, I'm talking to me. Because I have a problem with food, the best way I can teach my kids how to be healthy, is to stay away. A recovering alcoholic will warn their children about genes and overindulgence, but they know that the best way they can teach their kids to not follow in their footsteps is to simply stay out of the bar themselves.
Lie #5: Fast Food is an American Staple
One thing is for sure in American culture. We like to fight for our right to be stupid. If there is an injustice to be found in illogical places, we'll find it. Anytime the government steps in and wants to take a closer look at how fast food restaurants are making their foods or marketing to children, there is a group of 'we don't actually understand the First Amendment' champions to say You can't do that! And I have a question. Why don't we want them to? We throw up in our mouths a little when we find out that horse meat is an ingredient in our dog's food, but throw a fit over an investigation of something that we put in our children's mouths being potentially poisonous. I just want to know why. Is it because we couldn't handle the guilt of welcoming this stuff into our homes for over thirty years if we really knew what it was doing to us and the next generation? Maybe so. All I know is that it involves believing at least a portion of the other four lies.
Fat Jesse, this is truly our biggest obstacle to overcome. I know that many people have been born with awesome genetics and great metabolisms and can pound down cheeseburgers like it's their job. Others don't even eat fast food, but can eat themselves silly on what they have at home. We're all different. But you and me, F.J....we've got to stay away from this stuff. For good. It's the only way we're going to survive.
I'm Not Lovin' It,
New Jesse, -16 lbs.
Is it, Fat Jesse? Because I can pretty much guarantee that I had an inner complaint about how my food was made every single time I ordered some.The food that you see Maxim models wolfing down on Carl's Jr. commercials is not as appetizing in person. Just Google real pictures of fast food and do some soul-searching on what your eyes have been programmed to tell your stomach is "yummy" for so many years. I think these disgusting piles of beige food have gotten past me for so long, because of how I ate them. Most fast food is conveniently packaged to be eaten right in your own lap, in front of the TV or in the car. I would never sit at the table with a plate. If I had, that would involve actually paying attention to how disgusting the food looked. If I went to a nice restaurant and they brought me food like that, I would probably send it back. Because I paid good money for it. Which brings me to my next point.
Lie #3: Fast Food is Cheap
This one is so bewitching that the entire country has bought into it. Experts blather on about how low income families don't get proper nutrition because they have no choice but to buy cheaper junk food. Well, those experts have never seen the checking account of a fast food-aholic. Say you stick to the dollar menu, buying two meals per day for two people. Let's give each person three items at each meal from that dollar menu, and the inevitable 'ooh, get me a dessert' impulse add-on at the end of the order. That's $8 before tax. Times two. Times thirty. I'll give you a minute. This, of course, is just a baseline. Sometimes more per month, sometimes less. But it also forgets to factor in milkshakes masquerading as coffee and those special nights when the dollar menu just isn't enough to say I hate myself. No, on those nights, it was Chinese food or our adopted child...pizza. Seriously, when tax time came this year and the form asked if we provided more than half support to any other dependents, I was tempted to write down CiCi. Here's the kicker, F.J. We practically never gave fast food to our daughter. So, add to the monthly food bill: healthy groceries for the kiddo. Enter Lie #4.
Lie #4: Fast Food is Not Okay for My Kids, but It's Fine for Me
I committed to authenticity when I started writing these letters to you, Fat Jesse, and I am going to see it through. It is embarrassing to admit an inconsistency so harsh as this one, but I have to expose it so that it stays away for the rest of my life. I kid you not, after arriving home from the drive-thru, I would prepare a healthy meal for my toddler. I vowed to show her how to eat healthy and expose her to veggies and fruit and shield her from fast food, because I wanted better for her. But there is so much wrong with that. For starters, how long would it have taken for her to say I want what Mommy's having? But the less obvious problem this presented to me was the fact that I was telling myself that she was worth it, and for some reason...I wasn't. When I tapped into this mistreatment of myself, I was able to change. Now, F.J., if someone other than my mom stumbles across this blog, they may think I am judging any parent who takes their kid for a meal and some time in the playhouse at a fast food restaurant. Absolutely not. There is a reason I write to you, Fat Jesse, and that is so the world can know that, at all times, I'm talking to me. Because I have a problem with food, the best way I can teach my kids how to be healthy, is to stay away. A recovering alcoholic will warn their children about genes and overindulgence, but they know that the best way they can teach their kids to not follow in their footsteps is to simply stay out of the bar themselves.
Lie #5: Fast Food is an American Staple
One thing is for sure in American culture. We like to fight for our right to be stupid. If there is an injustice to be found in illogical places, we'll find it. Anytime the government steps in and wants to take a closer look at how fast food restaurants are making their foods or marketing to children, there is a group of 'we don't actually understand the First Amendment' champions to say You can't do that! And I have a question. Why don't we want them to? We throw up in our mouths a little when we find out that horse meat is an ingredient in our dog's food, but throw a fit over an investigation of something that we put in our children's mouths being potentially poisonous. I just want to know why. Is it because we couldn't handle the guilt of welcoming this stuff into our homes for over thirty years if we really knew what it was doing to us and the next generation? Maybe so. All I know is that it involves believing at least a portion of the other four lies.
Fat Jesse, this is truly our biggest obstacle to overcome. I know that many people have been born with awesome genetics and great metabolisms and can pound down cheeseburgers like it's their job. Others don't even eat fast food, but can eat themselves silly on what they have at home. We're all different. But you and me, F.J....we've got to stay away from this stuff. For good. It's the only way we're going to survive.
I'm Not Lovin' It,
New Jesse, -16 lbs.
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