Dear Fat Jesse,
It's time to have a chat. I've heard so many people on their weight loss journey say, "I feel like there is a skinny person inside me just waiting to get out." I think that's nonsense. At least for me. I have been fat my entire life, ranging from "she's of average build" to "don't mention her weight at all." So, I have determined that you- my inner me- are fat. It only makes sense. If ever I had a skinny woman living inside me, I wouldn't be a raging fast food addict. I wouldn't have a ten year love affair with seven hundred calorie coffee beverages under my belt. I lied. I don't wear a belt. Belts are very uncomfortable for fat women.
So I've decided to expose you. Oh, of course the world knows you're around. That's what sucks about a weight battle. It's one that is fought with the entire world in a front row seat, and success is pretty objective. Either you get smaller or you don't. No, I've decided to expose the parts of you that aren't that obvious. The parts that keep me from believing that I can do something different than what you've wanted to do for twenty years. Why? Well, one of my favorite authors, Dr. Kevin Leman, puts it simply. If you want to lose pounds, post your weight in a public place. That's a great idea.
Really.
Incredible.
Yeah, I'm not doing that. But the next best thing that I can do is to post the journal of my weight loss in a very public place. I'm not looking for a huge readership. I'm pretty sure my mom will be my only fan. The point is knowing that it's out there and that I now have accountability to do what I set out to do. And don't worry, F.J. This isn't goodbye. I know that you'll always be around, trying to tell me that food is the best replacement for pretty much anything. I'm just going to dedicate this blog to convincing you that you're wrong.
With love,
New Jesse, -11 lbs
I completely understand. A weight loss journey is very public. People either ask "should you eat that?" or "good for you, you're eating healthy." I have always believed I was fat. Now I look at old pictures and wonder why. I am physically fat now, but my mental image has always been. It's a daily struggle. I will be your fan, and cheer you on. I hope to be successful someday.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about looking at old pictures. I had a brief period when I was absolutely TINY for my frame, but at the time my best friend happened to be 90 lbs. So in my own perception, I was still fat. Now I'm trying to get to that size! By the way, is this someone I know? I can't tell from the screen name. :)
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